Even though I came of age during the 60s, it wasn’t until I was in my 70s that I had my first psychedelic experience.
It was my plan never to use a hallucinogenic, right up until I attended the Palliative Care Institute’s conference in the spring of 2018 on Holistic Approaches to Pain Management. The last session before lunch was on the use of psilocybin for the treatment of cancer-related emotional distress. Had this been a breakout session I probably wouldn’t have selected it. I was immediately captivated by Cody’s Swifts presentation. He showed a video depicting patients diagnosed with terminal cancer who were experiencing significant anxiety and depression related to their approaching deaths. These patients became part of a trial using psilocybin (naturally occurring hallucinogen in magic mushrooms) to quell these symptoms and to help them prepare for their near-term deaths. The results were astonishing. Each person in the trial received significant symptom relief, and most reported greater acceptance of death and increases in life meaning and optimism. Cody went on to talk about some of the therapeutic benefits of hallucinogenics in treating depression, anxiety, addiction and PTSD. These drugs were being used successfully in the 50s in the treatment of addiction and were being widely studied in the 60s until all research was shut down, funding turned off and ultimately the drugs were declared illegal and classified as a Schedule 1 substance. Schedule 1 substances are considered to be among the most dangerous and are defined as having a high potential for abuse and no currently accepted medical use in the U.S.
Just a couple of months later Michael Pollan’s book How to Change Your Mind was published. Here I learned more about the ways psychedelic medications were used in the treatment of addiction in the 50s, and the promising trials using psychedelics in the treatment of depression, anxiety and other mental disorders. The book also included many stories of the benefits to ‘healthy normals. I came away from this reading with a deep respect for these medicines and with an insatiable curiosity.
My husband Nick, and I are life-long seekers whose experiences with altered states had been via process rather than substance, i.e., meditation, breathwork, etc. Our research and study during 2018 & 2019 opened us to the possibility of using plant medicines. After accumulating a fair amount of knowledge, we based our choices primarily on intuition. We were both attracted to psilocybin, and never considered other substances . In our preliminary search for a safe, legal, well supported experience, we found MycoMediations in Jamaica. After listening to a number of their podcasts, we looked no further.
Sometime in 2019 Nick discovered ‘psychedelic tourism.’ While we did a good bit of study and research, many of our choices were based primarily on intuition. There are many psychedelic substances. We were attracted to psilocybin and never considered anything else. In his very preliminary search for retreats, MycoMediations Jamaica came up. Their website had scores of podcasts with previous retreatants talking about their experience. There was also a podcast featuring CEO Justin Townsend whose values and ethics were simpatico with our own. We looked no further.
By late 2019 we decided to book a retreat with Myco in November 2020. Sadly, the pandemic put our plans on an indefinite hold. In early July 2021 it looked like we’d turned a corner with the pandemic and Myco published its fall schedule. The retreat level we’d selected was being offered the first week in November. A week that included Nick’s 77th birthday. On July 7th we put booked our retreat.
Except for the stress and rigors of traveling in a pandemic, our experience was perfect. While I can only speak for the south coast rural area we visited, we found the natural beauty, the warm ocean, the pervasive trade winds and the welcoming, open-hearted attitude of everyone we met a wonderful backdrop to the work we’d come to do. The Myco team made everything easy, safe and comfortable so that we could surrender to the experience. Our retreat was comprised of 11 participants and 8 passionate and knowledgeable facilitators in addition to stellar administrative and support staff. The retreat was a week long and included the opportunity to take the medicine 3 times. In addition to our individual ‘trips,’ there were preparation and integration sessions with the whole group. The group element of the work added dimensions that couldn’t have been reached individually. The synergy of all these pieces made for an exceptional overall experience.
While the trip experience itself is difficult to convey given the limits of language. I can tell you that I had a garden of Eden experience beyond any I’ve known before. I experienced myself as connected to everything around me, no separation. I experienced ego dissolution. I revisited past traumas, received illuminating insights and did repair work in relations with deceased loved ones. The very best part of this story is that the evolution of my consciousness continues here at home months after my return. Some of it comes simply from once having experienced myself as something more than my ego, there is no unknowing that experience. In addition to that I am actively continuing the work through a morning journaling practice, daily meditation, more intimate interactions with the natural world and by continuing to communicate with my fellow retreatments.
There is a huge resurgence in the interest in the positive effects of psychedelic medicine. There are research studies and clinical trials underway at institutions like Johns Hopkins and NYU. The Psilocybin Wellness and Opportunity Act was introduced in the WA state legislature in January 2022. This bill if passed would allow adults to use psilocybin under guidance of a trained and state licensed professional. In 2021 Seattle decriminalized psilocybin by city council resolution. In November 2021 OR passed an initiative to legalize psilocybin for mental health treatment.
Additionally, as you can see from my story there is also the potential for ‘healthy normals’ to benefit from the use of these medicines with the appropriate set and setting.
If you are interested in exploring this topic further, I highly recommend this 2018 interview of Michael Pollan by Tim Ferriss https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPXhoQRTP9Qhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPXhoQRTP9Q or contact me at inthenameofthemother@comcast.net.